Sometimes I wonder what I fail to understand in the lives of others due to my healthy experience of family life. I grew up in a very stable home, where I never doubted my parent's love for each other, or for God. How many people do I come in contact with every day that simply never experienced that? Many people I know have had less then ideal family lives. There is no doubting the setback that it potentially can be.
I was contemplating my life today. I realized that I still live my life before my family, the people most permanent and most important in my life. When I accomplish something, I am most proud for them. When I fail, I feel their disappointment more than anyone else. And not in an negative way. Rather, I want to be all I can because I want them to be proud. I don't imagine having the same initiative, the same drive, the same obligation to work hard, strive for integrity, and succeed without having the family I do.
And having said that, I imagine if I felt God's call to go somewhere, or do something my family might not understand, they would be the ones I would have the hardest time letting down.
Then I look at the life of Jesus - he lived before only one audience, that of his Father. His earthly family were often confused and hurt by his strange and independent behavior. But his concern was really with only one - his heavenly Father. Truthfully, Jesus mission would have been crippled had he given careful and special attention to the ties with his own family. After all, Jesus commanded his followers to "let the dead bury their own dead" when someone wanted to pay respects to a father that had passed, and that they were to "hate their own families" in comparison to God.
Troubling words to be sure. But Jesus was telling us something about the approval of men, and in particular, our own families, whose approval usually holds the most weight. No matter how righteous and loving our families, living according to their standard and direction rather than God's is sure to produce a life that is at the very best, limited, and at worst, wasted.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Where Have All The Real Men Gone?
I recently attended a men's conference at Centre Street Church. The focus was for the most part on what it means to be a man, both in the context of marriage, and in general. The conference for me seemed to clarify a bunch of things that I already believed, and that I have been thinking.
Mark Driscoll spoke on biblical manhood. As he spoke, I realized I agree with his conservative view on gender roles. I realized I essentially always have. There is nothing convincing in the argument from feminism - or liberal Christianity - that men are replaceable with women. And there is nothing more unbecoming than a women trying to prove she's as strong as the men, or an oversensitive good for nothing mama's boy.
Driscoll used a word to describe men that have shirked their responsiblity to be what they should be as men of God - "worthless". Essentially, society is chalk full of worthless men. They do not love their wives or serve their families. They idolize money and sex and stuff, but do not worship or serve their Creator. But that is to be expected - most men do not know Jesus. Christian men, however, are held to an exceedingly high standard - so high that a man who lived up to it truly said of himself, "anyone who has seen me has seen God Himself." (John 14) We are to be men after the example of Christ - true reflections of our Heavenly Father as his sons. I will share a few of the things that that includes.
Men are to be leaders! Men are designed to lead, whether in business, in the church, or at home. As Driscoll put it, "men are to rule as kings." But we are not to be dictators. Men are designed to have dominion over something. Men who do not have a meaningful and healthy kind of dominion become bullies, intimidating and abusing weaker people (usually women and children). Our leadership as men possesses an inherent bestowing of responsibility from God. Especially in the home the responsibility to lead, guide, teach and protect is on the man. If we refuse to do it, we are still responsible. God holds Adam responsible for the first sin, although Eve is the first sinner. In Genesis 1, after they both sin, God calls out for Adam, not Eve.
I am reminded that as men, we need to seize the initiative and lead our families in the ways of the Lord. The world is full of families and marriages where there is no leadership - there is only blame. Leadership is taking responsibility for your family. It is interesting to think about Christ. He has essentially taken responsibility for his bride the church, and our sinfulness, although it is not his fault. We likewise are to take responsibility for our wives and families. Although everything that happens in our homes are not our fault, our homes are our responsibility.
It bothers me when I meet a Christian man who shies away from talking about spiritual things. But I suspect the cause is simple - he does not have a vital relationship with Christ. I am not saying he isn't saved, only that someone who has little to say in regard to spiritual matters must be involved little in spiritual things himself. It is on us as men to be pursuing Christ personally, so that we can lead our families in that area. Another way men are to lead is to be teachers for their families. It isn't for no reason that Paul commands women to be silent in church, or that if a women has questions about scripture, she should ask her husband, or that the qualifications for both overseers (bishop or pastor) and deacons begin with being a man. Men are to be spiritual leaders.
Finally, the balancing aspect of our call to be leaders is our call to be sacrifical servants to our families. Ephesians 5 commands men to love their wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her! Every man who believes biblical manhood and leadership is about getting his way needs to digest this concept. We are as men to lay down our lives for our wives, and our families. We are to in humility consider them "better than ourselves" (Philippians 2) We are to forgive our wives as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 5) - that is, all the time, without ceasing, in every situation, until Christ returns. We are to love our wives as we love ourselves.
Mark Driscoll spoke on biblical manhood. As he spoke, I realized I agree with his conservative view on gender roles. I realized I essentially always have. There is nothing convincing in the argument from feminism - or liberal Christianity - that men are replaceable with women. And there is nothing more unbecoming than a women trying to prove she's as strong as the men, or an oversensitive good for nothing mama's boy.
Driscoll used a word to describe men that have shirked their responsiblity to be what they should be as men of God - "worthless". Essentially, society is chalk full of worthless men. They do not love their wives or serve their families. They idolize money and sex and stuff, but do not worship or serve their Creator. But that is to be expected - most men do not know Jesus. Christian men, however, are held to an exceedingly high standard - so high that a man who lived up to it truly said of himself, "anyone who has seen me has seen God Himself." (John 14) We are to be men after the example of Christ - true reflections of our Heavenly Father as his sons. I will share a few of the things that that includes.
Men are to be leaders! Men are designed to lead, whether in business, in the church, or at home. As Driscoll put it, "men are to rule as kings." But we are not to be dictators. Men are designed to have dominion over something. Men who do not have a meaningful and healthy kind of dominion become bullies, intimidating and abusing weaker people (usually women and children). Our leadership as men possesses an inherent bestowing of responsibility from God. Especially in the home the responsibility to lead, guide, teach and protect is on the man. If we refuse to do it, we are still responsible. God holds Adam responsible for the first sin, although Eve is the first sinner. In Genesis 1, after they both sin, God calls out for Adam, not Eve.
I am reminded that as men, we need to seize the initiative and lead our families in the ways of the Lord. The world is full of families and marriages where there is no leadership - there is only blame. Leadership is taking responsibility for your family. It is interesting to think about Christ. He has essentially taken responsibility for his bride the church, and our sinfulness, although it is not his fault. We likewise are to take responsibility for our wives and families. Although everything that happens in our homes are not our fault, our homes are our responsibility.
It bothers me when I meet a Christian man who shies away from talking about spiritual things. But I suspect the cause is simple - he does not have a vital relationship with Christ. I am not saying he isn't saved, only that someone who has little to say in regard to spiritual matters must be involved little in spiritual things himself. It is on us as men to be pursuing Christ personally, so that we can lead our families in that area. Another way men are to lead is to be teachers for their families. It isn't for no reason that Paul commands women to be silent in church, or that if a women has questions about scripture, she should ask her husband, or that the qualifications for both overseers (bishop or pastor) and deacons begin with being a man. Men are to be spiritual leaders.
Finally, the balancing aspect of our call to be leaders is our call to be sacrifical servants to our families. Ephesians 5 commands men to love their wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her! Every man who believes biblical manhood and leadership is about getting his way needs to digest this concept. We are as men to lay down our lives for our wives, and our families. We are to in humility consider them "better than ourselves" (Philippians 2) We are to forgive our wives as Christ forgave us (Ephesians 5) - that is, all the time, without ceasing, in every situation, until Christ returns. We are to love our wives as we love ourselves.
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